Hello to all the hustlers! I know you’re out there grinding and making it happen. You’re putting in the work every day. I’m sure you’re throwing all your muscle into it. The results may not be there yet, but I know you’ll get there. I believe in your hard work, perseverance, and grit.
It’s only a matter of time!
That’s what support feels like. Great, right? It’s a juicy shot of happiness right into your veins. It’s intoxicating, exhilarating, and incomparable. Contrastingly, disbelief and hate feels like someone is gripping you by the neck and slamming you through concrete. It’s almost as if your high school bully teamed up with gravity to send you crashing to unfathomable lows.
Unless you’re unbelievably lucky, you’ve had to deal with unsupportive people in your social circle. Maybe you’re currently dealing with some unsupportive friends, parents, or relatives. It’s exhausting, but I’ve come up with 5 ways to deal with such people. Try one, or two, or all of them and find out which works best for you.
1) Cut Them Out and Create a New Social Circle
This is the most drastic measure. List all the people who are hateful, negative, and always pulling you down, and cut them out completely. As an entrepreneur, or just someone who’s trying to get their life together, it’s better to remove these draining people.
Perhaps you’re thinking “But I’ve known Timothy for 10 years! I can’t get rid of him.” A fair point. Let’s reframe this. Imagine you’d invested $1000 in Slimeball Inc and 10 years later your investment was worth a paltry $10. Would you still hold this investment in your portfolio? I didn’t think so.
Creating a new circle is rough. I’m still working on it. If you’re serious about it though, it can happen. Attend self-development seminars, take classes in things you’re interested in, join a book club, use apps like Shapr, go to networking events, and talk to people you see at places you regularly visit.
2) Confront Them
Maybe eliminating the person, or people, from your life isn’t the right choice. In this case, it may be a good idea to confront them. This doesn’t have to be aggressive. Simply ask them something like “You’re my friend, why are you trashing my ideas and my hard work?”
In my experience people rarely ask these straightforward questions, but the answers to these questions reveal a load of wonderful information. Not only does this address your problem directly, it allows you to hear your friend’s perspective. Maybe there is something to their Debbie Downer talk.
Education is a powerful tool. I’ve run into a few occasions in which I did not communicate my ambitions properly. I came off as a greedy, grubby, money hungry maniac. My peers didn’t understand why I was so focused on my finances.
Once I understood this, I educated them. I explained I didn’t really care for money, only what it afforded: freedom. I told them I wanted to spend all my time with my family and other important people instead of staring at a glowing computer screen. It was about being able to provide my future wife and kids with an enjoyable life, not about having money for money’s sake.
Question everything. If you’re parents or friends say things like “That’s a dumb idea!” and “You should just focus on college and getting a job!” bombard them with questions.
When facing comments like this it’s great to channel your inner child and ask “Why?”. Continually ask why your peers feel the way they do. If they think an idea is absurd ask them for their reasoning, ask them for a better idea, and ask them anything else that comes to mind. Get to the root of their feelings.
There’s a good chance you’ll question them into exhaustion, maybe even enlightenment.
Ignore the haters
Although this is my least favorite way of dealing with annoying people it’s still effective. When the barbed comments and venomous words come flying your way just be like Taylor Swift and shake it off.
You only need to remember that someone else’s comments are just their opinions. They are not facts. Opinions are free, and everyone has one. As cliché as it sounds, your opinion of yourself, your efforts, and your projects matters more. Don’t let someone else dictate your life just because you’re living yours and they’re sitting on the sidelines.
The world is teeming with pessimists. It’s easy to find people who don’t wish success on others. Regrettably some of these people make it into our social groups. The only benefit to having these people around is to acquire a different perspective. Otherwise, they’re leeches who drain the ambition from you. It’s your life, live it the way you want to—with, or without their support.